Archive for the Feng Shui relationships
How do we live together and preserve our own personal space, our own personal preferences?
If there is more than one person living under the same roof, conflict can result from personality differences – some people are more organized than others, some are more creative than others. This can be a cause of tension between family members.
If one person has a preferred way of keeping the home, and the other has theirs, what can we do to ensure that we maintain a sense of harmony while still preserving our own individuality?
The answer is simple: Compromise.
Compromise is the tool we use in order to not only survive, but to thrive together.
If one person is tidy and the other is not, then the messy person’s natural pattern is to leave things scattered about. If this is a consistent pattern throughout the home, the tidy person may think that the messy one is deliberately leaving things lying around to antagonize them, but that’s often not the case. The messy person is just doing what comes naturally to them.
One compromise that needs to occur here is for the tidy person has to relinquish control and let the messy person be who they are. And both of these people need to honor who they are and who each other is, by finding their own space in the home where they can be true to their natural way of being. The rest of the home should be considered a shared space, and compromise must occur in those shared areas so that both people are comfortable. It might not be perfect, but it will be balanced enough to let them live in a harmonious environment.
For instance, if the bathroom is an area of conflict because one person squeezes the toothpaste in the middle and the other squeezes it at the end, simply buy two tubes of toothpaste! Perhaps you have a young adult who only lives at home during the summer – co-create house rules for everyone about shared and private space. This way everyone living in the home shares responsibility to honor each others personal space as well as the shared spaces. Making space in our hearts and minds for others to be who they naturally are, is one of the most supportive steps we can take in relationships.
What has compromise got to do with Feng Shui? In Feng Shui we seek to create balance, and sometime balance is something that has to be achieved between people just as it does in living environments. Compromise is inner Feng Shui at work. Inner Feng Shui is about working on inner connection and balance and then supporting that inner change or desire for change by making adjustments in your outer environment.
To learn more about how to apply Feng Shui in your family relationships, listen to my podcast here: http://www.harmony-life.net/simplefengshuitips.shtml
© 2010 Harmony Life, LLC by Laurie Bornstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include the copyright and the following information:
Feng Shui Teacher, Designer and Entrepreneur Laurie Bornstein, is the author and creator of ‘Feng Shui Lifestyle’, her FREE monthly ezine filled with Feng Shui and Lifestyle Marketing articles and tips, empowering and inspiring you to live and work in comfort, balance and harmony.
Visit http://www.harmonylifedesign.com to learn more.
Your bedroom is one of the most important rooms in your home.
This is the place that embraces the ‘no place like home’ energy. When you are decorating your home, you want to begin with your bedroom, and seek to create a refuge, a place of comfort and tranquility away from it all.
By doing this you have to be aware of the aspects of a room. These are: the walls, the floor, the ceiling, the lighting, the bed itself, the bed-frame, the headboard and so on, and the other furnishings in the room like artwork and mirrors. All of these aspects combine to create the total effect in your room. It’s not just about pillows or paint, it’s about all the details.
Your bedroom is about rest and relaxation. It is a place where you restore and rejuvenate. It is a place for physical intimacy. This space should be delicious, inspiring and personal.
Remove Distractions
Distractions are what your bedroom is not about. It’s not about exercise. It’s not about watching television. It’s not about working on the computer.
One of the main distractions in a bedroom is the television. If you have a TV in your bedroom and you’re in a relationship, that means that one of you is going to lose out attention-wise. And the loser never seems to be the TV! If you must have a television in your room, keep it covered or in a cabinet when it’s not in use. Ideally, it’s best not to have a TV in the bedroom.
Incorporate Color
Look at the color of the room. Color is multi-sensory, you don’t just see it, you feel it. I like to use food words like tantalizing and delicious when I describe color because it is that powerful of an experience for us. One way to bring in color is to paint the walls. Or just paint one wall, behind the bed. If you can’t paint, you can still bring color into the space through other items like bedding, pillows, artwork, a throw or area rugs. These are things that are quick and adaptable and they allow you to create the feeling you desire without the commitment of paint. Don’t underestimate the power of color -color is the quickest, easiest way to shift the way a room looks and feels.
Ambient Lighting
In most bedrooms there is a central overhead light. That is what we call general task lighting. Most times it does not create a warm and cozy feeling that we need in our bedrooms. We are attracted to warm pools of light – like moths to a flame. You should only use your overhead light when you need a lot of light. Other than that, your table lamps or accent lights should be used to create those warm pools of light. The pools of light created by accent lights and lamps create a much more intimate feeling. A lamp should be beautiful even when it’s off. That’s a place you could also incorporate some of that yummy color – in the lampshade. Then it becomes a piece of art.
Surround yourself with things that you love.
Love Your Bed
Now the bed. If you love it, it will stay with you forever. Don’t make the bed too big. I know a lot of folks love king size beds, but for two people a queen is usually big enough, it allows each of you your own sleeping space without a lot of empty space between you. What does your bed look like? What’s it made of? How big is it? What does the bedding feel like? I love cotton jersey sheets because they are just like a tee-shirt. They are not cold or hot, but they are comfy! That’s my favorite. What’s your favorite? We all gravitate toward different textures.
Where is the bed positioned? You want to be sure you are in the power position. You need to be able to see the door from your bed. But you don’t want to be positioned directly in line with the door or directly opposite it. It’s OK to be on the wall opposite the door as long as you are off to one side or the other. It matters because the door is a narrow confined space. Imagine water moving through a narrow space – it moves faster, it’s a little more disruptive. We do not want disruption, so we want to position ourselves so that we are the master of our space.
Romantic Artwork
Now the artwork. What is most romantic to you? Color, landscape, seascape, forest, meadow, a couple, an abstract? What the art is isn’t as important as the feeling it creates. The bedroom is not a place for lots of pictures of our family or children. The bedroom is a place of intimacy for two people. Keep family pictures to a minimum. The same is true about mirrors. We want to keep the energy level low in our intimate room. One mirror is plenty in your bedroom and it should be positioned so that it is not at the foot of the bed facing the bed. It’s best when it is positioned off to one side or the other.
These are the basic elements of an intimate room – be sure to keep your personal paradise in mind. Embrace all the aspects of what you love. Consider all of these items as you begin to create your personal paradise, your ideal bedroom. This is the place that embraces and represents intimacy. Don’t be afraid to make it a little sensual, a little daring, don’t be afraid to create the mood!
To learn more about How To Create a Romantic Room, listen to my podcast here: http://www.harmony-life.net/simplefengshuitips.shtml
© 2010 Harmony Life, LLC by Laurie Bornstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include the copyright and the following information:
Feng Shui Teacher, Designer and Entrepreneur Laurie Bornstein, is the author and creator of ‘Feng Shui Lifestyle’, her FREE monthly ezine filled with Feng Shui and Lifestyle Marketing articles and tips, empowering and inspiring you to live and work in comfort, balance and harmony.
Visit http://www.harmonylifedesign.com to learn more.
Wanting romance is one thing, making space for it is another. If we want romance, we need to make room for it in our heads, hearts and living environment. Where to start?
The bedroom is one of the top three rooms in your home, and represents the single most important relationship you have in your life. It’s important that you take the time to make it your own and personalize it.
To simplify the process, I’d like you to use your imagination to take a couple of mental snapshots of your bedroom. To do this, go to your bedroom and find a comfortable spot to sit or lay down. Support your head and shoulders. Find a place of comfort and relaxation. Breathe deeply in and out.
With each breath begin to slow your thoughts and focus on the following information. As you read each question, allow your gaze to gently lift to your room and view it as though you are seeing it for the first time. Don’t evaluate your responses, or talk yourself in or out of what you feel, trust what you feel, trust what enters your awareness.
As you face the room, answer these questions:
- What color is your room?
- Where is your bed located in the room?
- What type of linens are on it? Flannel? Comfortable an soft, like a t-shirt? Or perhaps silky and sensuous? Perhaps they are crisp like cotton or linen. Allow yourself, in your mind’s eye, to see and feel your bed.
- Look around the room. What type of lighting do you have?
- Where is the window?
- Where is the door in relationship to the bed?
- What color are the walls? The bedding?
- What texture and color is the floor?
- How does this room make you feel? Are you compelled forward, embraced with comfort, a warm welcome? Is this a place that sings to your soul? A place that captures who you are with nurture and support?
Now in your mind’s eye, take mental snapshot of your room exactly as it is now. Move this mental image over to the side. And now, still standing at the door, if you could do anything to embrace your heart’s desire to your bedroom, what would it be?
- What color would it be?
- Where would you put the bed?
- What kind of bed would you have? Would you change it?
- What about the bedding? What’s the texture and color of your perfect bedroom?
- What is the scent in your room?
- What type of lighting is in your perfect room?
- Would there be furniture other than the bed?
In this place of imagination, there are no barriers. Your room can be whatever you’d like it to be if it were perfect for you.
Now take a mental snapshot of your perfect room, and in your mind’s eye put the images next to each other. Notice what is different from the room today versus your perfect personal paradise. Take a few moments to write down the differences. Write down the aspects of your perfect room that seem the most exciting, the aspects that make you smile and feel good about the space.
Part of embracing romance in your life is embracing that yummy delicious place that is your personal paradise.
There are many ways we can do it. Now you know what your perfect personal paradise looks like, you have a template to begin the process.
Give yourself permission to walk through the door and begin the process of creating your perfect bedroom, your personal paradise. This is the most important room in your home, where you honor who you are … open your arms to the opportunity for romance by opening your arms to yourself!
To learn more about how to enhance your romantic life with Feng Shui, listen to my podcast here: http://www.harmony-life.net/simplefengshuitips.shtml
© 2010 Harmony Life, LLC by Laurie Bornstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include the copyright and the following information:
Feng Shui Teacher, Designer and Entrepreneur Laurie Bornstein, is the author and creator of ‘Feng Shui Lifestyle’, her FREE monthly ezine filled with Feng Shui and Lifestyle Marketing articles and tips, empowering and inspiring you to live and work in comfort, balance and harmony.
Visit http://www.harmonylifedesign.com to learn more.
Do you have space for relationships in your life?
During Feng Shui consultations I am often asked to make recommendations that will attract the perfect relationship, the perfect partner.
When I get to the client’s home, what I almost always find is that there is no space in their life, no space in their home and no space in their lifestyle for a relationship! We can want a relationship forever but without creating space for it, it may never find us.
Desire needs energy and energy needs space. We need to have space for the change we desire.
The first step in the process is to determine the quality and kind of relationship you want in your life. For example, if you are a very busy person, maybe a long-distance relationship or a cyberspace relationship, or a relationship with someone who has the same type of schedule as you, will be most suitable for you. What’s important is taking the time to define what’s right for you, not what others think you should have, but what you want.
How can you attract the perfect person if you don’t know yourself? It’s like saying you’re going to buy a pair of pants and it doesn’t matter what size they are. That’s not true at all. They are not all going to fit. They won’t all look good. They won’t all feel good.
By making time for ourselves and by caring for ourselves better, and loving ourselves, we make ourselves more attractive to those we want to spend time with.
No matter what kind of relationship you want to attract, you still need to make space for the time in your life. How do you make space? Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Make dinner for yourself and eat it at the table – not over the sink or worse, right out of the pot!
Set aside time to take a class, read a book, take a walk, spend time with you. You’re worth it! And you want the partner in your future relationship to feel you’re worth it too, so it’s up to you to set the pattern for yourself. Make room for you and you’ll make space for another.
Feng Shui is based on the flow of energy – whether it’s our inner energy or the energy around us. Clearing emotional and physical clutter is energizing. That positive feeling propels you forward. With Feng Shui you are going with the flow instead of fighting it or trying to control it. It is much easier to make change in our lives when we feel compelled forward.
Identify what you want to get out of a relationship and then make space to allow it to find you. Enjoy each moment. By enjoying yourself, you become so much more attractive and so much more interesting to everyone else.
Valentine’s Day is around the corner, want to learn more about relationships? Click here to read an earlier blog post about creating space for love in your life.
To learn more about how to enhance your romantic life with Feng Shui, listen to my podcast here: http://www.harmony-life.net/simplefengshuitips.shtml
© 2010 Harmony Life, LLC by Laurie Bornstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include the copyright and the following information:
Feng Shui Teacher, Designer and Entrepreneur Laurie Bornstein, is the author and creator of ‘Feng Shui Lifestyle’, her FREE monthly ezine filled with Feng Shui and Lifestyle Marketing articles and tips, empowering and inspiring you to live and work in comfort, balance and harmony.
Visit http://www.harmonylifedesign.com to learn more.
Could you use more romance in your life? Does your relationship need a jump start? Clutter clearing just might give you the space in your life for love to enter. How? What does clutter clearing have to do with romantic life? It’s all about making space.
I worked with a client once who claimed she was in search of the perfect relationship. When I went into her bedroom, I noticed that her bed was pushed right up against the wall. When I saw that there was no space for someone else, I asked her to tell me about the relationship she wanted. She started to tell me about how busy her life was. She wasn’t sure if she had time for a relationship, but she wanted one.
I pointed out to her that she didn’t seem to have room based on the placement of her bed – literally there was no way for someone else to get in or out of the bed. As we looked around the room, every place had clutter. There was no space anywhere for this relationship that she believed she wanted. She realized that she didn’t actually have space for a man in her life. We needed to clear her clutter in order to make space for any relationship in her life. In almost every room in her house, the love relationship corner had clutter in it.
The love relationship corner from the Bagua map, if you are facing into the room, is in the back right corner. Your home divides into nine areas and that back right corner is your love relationship space.
This may not have been a conscious choice that she made, but we can sometimes create our own blocks. Sometimes we create them because we are not ready; we need more time. Other times it’s just an ingrained habit. We automatically do it and then we wonder why it’s not working.
Feng Shui energy needs space to move. If there is not space, you can want a relationship forever but if you don’t make space for it in your environment and in your heart, it won’t come. Because she said she was so busy, she didn’t even have the time to nurture any relationship that came her way.
When there is a lot of clutter blocking our relationships or our desire for relationships, the first thing we have to do is make time, make space for ourselves. We have to start to care better for ourselves and love ourselves. It’s much easier to make changes in our lives when we feel compelled forward.
To learn more about creating space for love in your life, listen to my podcast on Enhancing Your Romantic Life Using Feng Shui Principles.
© 2009 Harmony Life, LLC by Laurie Bornstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include the copyright and the following information:
Feng Shui Teacher, Designer and Entrepreneur Laurie Bornstein, is the author and creator of ‘Feng Shui Lifestyle’, her FREE monthly ezine filled with Feng Shui and Lifestyle Marketing articles and tips, empowering and inspiring you to live and work in comfort, balance and harmony.
Visit http://www.harmonylifedesign.com to learn more.
